The Naming of Hosts
A humorous meditation on the challenge of naming computers
Ashworth, J., "The Naming of Hosts", RFC 2100, DOI 10.17487/RFC2100, April 1997, <https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc2100>.
@misc{rfc2100,
series = {Request for Comments},
number = 2100,
howpublished = {RFC 2100},
publisher = {RFC Editor},
doi = {10.17487/RFC2100},
url = {https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc2100},
author = {J. Ashworth},
title = {{The Naming of Hosts}},
pagetotal = 3,
year = 1997,
month = apr,
} RFC text
Contents
Network Working Group J. Ashworth
Request for Comments: 2100 Ashworth & Associates
Category: Informational 1 April 1997
The Naming of Hosts
Status of this Memo
This memo provides information for the Internet community. This memo
does not specify an Internet standard of any kind. Distribution of
this memo is unlimited.
Introduction
This RFC is a commentary on the difficulty of deciding upon an
acceptably distinctive hostname for one's computer, a problem which
grows in direct proportion to the logarithmically increasing size of
the Internet.
Distribution of this memo is unlimited.
Except to TS Eliot.
And, for that matter, to David Addison, who hates iambic pentameter.
Poetry
The Naming of Hosts is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a host must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the users use daily,
Such as venus, athena, and cisco, and ames,
Such as titan or sirius, hobbes or europa--
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the web pages, some for the flames:
Such as mercury, phoenix, orion, and charon--
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a host needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can it keep its home page perpendicular,
And spread out its data, send pages world wide?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Like lothlorien, pothole, or kobyashi-maru,
Such as pearly-gates.vatican, or else diplomatic-
Names that never belong to more than one host.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover--
But THE NAMESERVER KNOWS, and will us'ually confess.
When you notice a client in rapt meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
The code is engaged in a deep consultation
On the address, the address, the address of its name:
It's ineffable,
effable,
Effanineffable,
Deep and inscrutable,
singular
Name.
Credits
Thanks to Don Libes, Mark Lottor, and a host of twisted
individuals^W^Wcreative sysadmins for providing source material for
this memo, to Andrew Lloyd-Webber, Cameron Mackintosh, and a cast of
thousands (particularly including Terrance Mann) who drew my
attention to the necessity, and of course, to Thomas Stearns Eliot,
for making this all necessary.
References
[1] Libes, D., "Choosing a Name for Your Computer", Communications
of the ACM, Vol. 32, No. 11, Pg. 1289, November 1989.
[2] Lottor, M. et al., "Domain Name Survey, Jan 1997",
namedroppers@internic.net
[3] Wong, M. et. al., "Cool Hostnames",
http://www.seas.upenn.edu/~mengwong/coolhosts.html
[4] Stearns, TS, _Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats_.
Security Considerations
Security issues are not discussed in this memo.
Particularly the cardiac security of certain famous poets.
Author's Address
Jay R. Ashworth
Ashworth & Associates
Advanced Technology Consulting
St. Petersburg FL 33709-4819
Phone: +1 813 790 7592
EMail: jra@scfn.thpl.lib.fl.us
AI ELI5
On this page
§1Introduction
This RFC is a humorous commentary on the difficulty of choosing a distinctive hostname for your computer. As the Internet grows exponentially, the problem becomes worse: more computers exist, fewer good names remain available. The memo is addressed to everyone except T.S. Eliot (author of the poem on which it is based) and David Addison (who dislikes a particular poetic meter).
Picking a computer name is hard because the Internet is so big. This memo is a joke about that problem.
§2The Three Names
In poetic form, the memo explains that every host must have three distinct names. First, there is the practical everyday name, such as venus, athena, cisco, or sirius—sensible names that users work with daily. Second, there are fancier names chosen for elegance or specific purposes, such as mercury, phoenix, orion, or charon. Third, and most mysteriously, there is a peculiar name that no human research can discover: the name that only the nameserver knows and will "usually confess." This third name is described as ineffable, effable, and inscrutable.
The poem says computers need an everyday name that people use, a fancier name if you like, and one secret name that the nameserver knows but nobody else does.
§3Credits and References
The memo acknowledges contributions from Don Libes, Mark Lottor, and creative system administrators who provided source material. It credits Andrew Lloyd-Webber and Cameron Mackintosh (the creators of the musical Cats) with inspiring the structure, and T.S. Eliot, whose poem "The Naming of Cats" provided the foundation. The memo references Don Libes' article on choosing computer names, a 1997 domain name survey, and a collection of cool hostnames on the web.
The memo thanks people who gave examples and ideas, and it is based on a famous poem by T.S. Eliot about cats.